When people talk about postpartum, they usually mean the weeks right after giving birth. But the truth is that, postpartum goes beyond just healing from delivery. While that is a big part of it, It lingers into toddlerhood, preschoolhood, and sometimes even longer.
I wish someone had told me these five things before I became a mom:
1. Postpartum Doesn’t Have an Expiration Date
Everyone prepares you for the first six weeks, maybe even the first six months. In fact, you’re even given all the checklists for recovery, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, wiping, bathing etc. And then sometimes you’re told, “It gets easier along the way.”But here’s the reality or my reality: after those first six months, it’s like phase two begins.
You move from milk feeding every 2–3 hours to introducing solids. Suddenly, your baby might refuse everything but breastmilk or refuse formula altogether (i’m curently struggling with this). And you’re left feeling helpless, wondering why something as “simple” as food can feel so hard. Nobody tells you this stage can be just as exhausting and emotional as the newborn one.
2. Your Body is Still Changing Years Later
It’s not just about “bouncing back” (spoiler: nobody really does). Even into toddlerhood, you might notice changes in energy, hormones, sleep, and how your body feels. And that’s normal.
But, what I didn’t realise is that my body would continue shifting for years. There are days when I feel strong, and days when i’m drained, unfortunately, there’s no manual, no doctor visit, no Google search that can predict exactly how your body will respond after childbirth. It’s simply a learning curve you have to take by the horns and figure out for yourself.
3. The Mental Load Gets Heavier
You think once the baby sleeps through the night, things will magically feel lighter, you lie! Then on top of the sleepless nights, the tantrums come,followed by preschool transitions, then meal planning, and then teaching tiny humans how to be tiny humans.
Now here’s the main thing: the mental load just keeps piling on. And as if that’s not even enough, there’s no motivation (or sometimes no time) to work out, especially when you’re juggling two other kids on top of it. Sometimes I don’t even have the motivation to do anything fun with my kids, which is why I like low-prep or, mess-free activities when I need something simple to keep the kids busy.
Then self-care, ….hmmmmm, that’s another topic on its own, because it feels like another thing on the to-do list you never, ever get to.
4. You Still Need Support (Even If Everyone Thinks You’re Fine)
Once the baby isn’t a newborn anymore, people assume you’ve “got it handled.” But moms of toddlers and preschoolers still need meals dropped off, still need a nap, still need someone to check in on them.
And let me be honest: the sleepless nights don’t automatically end, because there are nightmares, bedwetting, sick days, growth spurts, and those 2 a.m. wake-ups where only mama is the needed one, waiting for you in the front. And it’s so annoying when you’re running on fumes, but everyone assumes you’re “past that stage,” it can feel incredibly isolating.
5. You’re Still Becoming a New Version of Yourself
Postpartum is really just the process of becoming a mother, and that’s not done in six weeks, no. Every new stage of your child’s life reshapes you, too. You’re growing right alongside them, evolving, learning, unlearning and relearning. All of these things are happening at the same time. You’re not the same mom you were when you had a newborn, you’re not even the same mom you were when your child turned one, but you see, we accept it, because its growth. But, One way I embraced this new version of myself was starting fun little traditions like Craft with a Book Friday with my kids.
Here’s What’s Helping Me (And Maybe It Will Speak to You Too)
When it comes to finding a solution, there’s no one-size-fits-all “solution” to postpartum because the truth is, motherhood keeps evolving, and every woman’s motherhood journey is different. However, there are a few steps, or should i call them habits, that I’ve found for myself, to help me and keep me sane. And maybe, just maybe, they may speak to you as well.
Here are the steps:
I worship & pray.
I grew up in a christian home, and i’ve known Christ for myself. So, whenever I feel overwhelmed, worship is what gives me hope and prayer is what grounds me. These are my personal and constant reminder that tell me that I’m not carrying this all alone.
I prioritise my happiness and sleep.
I’ve made it my personal decision to find and do what makes and keeps me happy. I know it’s not perfect, and of course, sometimes sleep still feels impossible, but I do my best to rest when I can and make space for things that actually make me happy, like going to the cinema, eating ice-cream, buying myself nice things.
I do something just for me.
For me, that’s crafting, teaching, and blogging. Even though it’s not wildly profitable for me right now, it still keeps me from sinking into that dark rabbit hole of “nothingness” that can swallow up moms when the kids are in kindergarten. I just completely choose not to be that idle man who becomes the devil’s workshop.
I reach out (even when it’s hard).
My parents, my siblings, my friends an I, all live thousands of miles away from one other, but that hasn’t stopped us from keeping and staying in touch. Thank God for the internet. These are the people i reach out to whenever I’m feeling down, or anxious. I like to remind myself that it’s okay to ask for help even if it’s just texting them to say, “hey, today was rough, please pray with me” Sometimes, or most times even, that’s enough to keep me going
Finally, If you’re a mom like me, who’s in the thick of baby + toddler + preschool motherhood and still feel like you’re “postpartum,” just know that you’re not broken, you’re normal, I’m normal, we’re all normal.
If you relate with my story/experience, share this with a mama to remind her that she’s not alone.
